Day 18 - A picture of your biggest insecurity.

I think she's as dumb as a rock but, you have to admit, she's got just about the ideal smile. 

When you grow up with someone who looks (according to other people) just like you, you find insecurities in your differences. Most people stare back and forth between our faces, trying to find a difference between us so they can tell us apart. The thing is, when they find those differences, they point them out-as if we didn't know. 'Oh, your jaws are different and you don't have the same smile...That's how I will tell you apart.' Then we get to wondering, 'Gee, if our smiles are different, does that mean that one is better than the other?' So, for all sakes and purposes, our smiles are our biggest insecurity.

I have never been a fan of my smile. In 5th grade, I decided I hated it so much that I bit the insides of my cheek during my school picture to try to fix it. Didn't work. When I'm genuinely smile, my cheeks go up instead of out and my eyes get squinty and all but disappear. 

Genuinely happy = horrible smile

See, look at that picture. I'm smiling because I'm getting a hug and my eyes just disappear. To correct this I try purposefully smile differently. It fails miserably.

EVEN WORSE

Look at that! I tried to not let the smile reach my eyes so I wouldn't be all squinty and ended up looking like I wasn't enjoying myself. Boo. I love the left half of this picture and want to burn the right half.

As for me, I have always known that I have a crooked jaw.  Every doctor, dentist, and chiropractor I have every seen has mentioned my face and how it can be "fixed"- which is basically the best way to get some serious sort of mental complex (especially when I only went in for a check-up).  When I am absolutely happy, there is no holding back THIS SMILE:

Unrestrained happiness = Effed-up & crooked smile.

The older I got, the more I realized that I really only look good from ONE side.  I can no longer stand to take pictures from the other side, because in all of them I have a messed up face.  I have my good side in all the photos from modeling- yes, all my modeling photos have been taken from one side.  It truly is *awesome* knowing that only half of you is worth looking at.  I am so used to posing myself from one side now that I even do it when I have been "enjoying" my night.

Posed to hide crooked jaw.  Couldn't even tell, could you?