A List of Lies

It has always been hard for someone with little work experience to find a job but now we face new challenges everyday. Besides just putting in applications everywhere that will take one, I have been checking Craig's List daily in the hopes of finding some kind of part time work to hold me over until I can find something more long term. Now, I have been warned against using Craig's List for job hunting but I have ignored such warnings because in the past I have found legitimate part time or one time only work there.

Despite how many times I worked with him, this is from the only batch of photos I could find.

I found work as a part time model for a while. And for two glorious days I had the chance to count parts in hospitals.

I got to go into the back closet of a heart operation room!

I've been holding out hope to strike the same luck I had two summers ago. I even made a lame attempt at a resume this time around. I should have no trouble, right? Wrong. That's where scams come in. I have literally sent emails responding to eleven different ads that all sounded like things I could do. I was careful to pick ads that had correct spelling and that didn't seem right off the bat to BE scams. I tried to be careful. 

I waited.

Nothing came.

Nobody was writing me back. Nobody!

And then I got my first response. I would post it but apparently I deleted it. It was in response to an office job. It told me that I would need to go to such and so link to get a free credit report and to reply with my score. WHAT? No thank you. I got another reply to an email. This is what it said:

Hello,

We are happy to inform you that you have been chose as a potential candidate for our company.  There are currently 3 positions still available, and we you would like to fill one.
Before we move forward, I ask that you complete a short IQ quiz to see which position is most suited to you.  It helps us to evaluate you as a future employee, to see where you would best fit into our company.

This quiz can be found here 
http://verifyscores.com?uid=CjyRsOHIk2YTs1OI and must be completed in the next 48 hours to ensure you meet the cutoff for our next interview.

Once you have completed the quiz please confirm you mobile phone number so that we can ensure we have the proper contact number on file to reach you to schedule the in person interview.  Please allow us several days to call you regarding the interview to allow for processing time.

Please complete the previously listed steps ASAP as we only have 48 hours to set up interviews. When you have completed the quiz reply to this email and we will set a time for an interview.

Congratulations on becoming a candidate for our company!

Hiring Manager

No thank you. I tried my luck with more ads and got my first legitimate sounding response! It sounded SO real. It gave me the name of the guy contacting me and his son's name who I would be nannying 20 hours a week. I was thrilled. One thing caught my eye, though. The man asked for my resume even though I had attached it to the first email. Weird. I responded and got this back:

Thank you for your taking out time to respond. I know you are being paid for 
this but to me is a favour you are doing me by wanting to take care of him and 
showing him care, love and happiness as i don't want him to lack all. As have 
esplained to you earlier in my previous email he means everything to me, I 
want you to know that have reviewed your proposal and reread your application 
sent to me, and to be honest am highly impressed. And i want you to know that 
am hiring you right away, which the payment will start by the begining of 
next week, As i have checked my shedule i may not be around in the first week of 
february  but i will be preparing your payment and will mail the payment check to 
you. As i will be trusting you with my Son, first i will need you to do 
just this for him first, the payment I will be sending you will including the 
other bills and other necessary things my Son may be needing, so once you 
have the payment cashed you will deduct your money for a weeks and later send 
the difference/balance to my neighbour who will be bringing him in the morning 
and would come for him later in the evening ,it will be for his welfare till i 
am back.I believe i can trust you in getting this done. I will be waiting to 
read from you with a go ahead so as to be able to issue the payment you. 
Therefore i will require the following from you once again
 (1) (Check Payable name) Your full names:
(2) Contact address:...not P.O.Bx
(3) Telephone/cell numbers:
Awaiting your soonest reply.
THANKS

MONEY LAUNDERING? WHAT??? You can't trust ANYONE anymore. Well, I had just about given up hope when I received a reply email from someone I'd contacted a week before about an office position. 

Blurriest picture ever.

You can even see it in the subject line! But you know what I got in response? Oh, that's right. A scam. 

Hi, 
Sorry for the delayed response! It has been so crazy over the last couple of days! 

The good news is that the rental is still available. We had an offer from the first person we showed it to, but it appears they have changed their mind, so we need to start showing it again, as we want to get it rented ASAP. Since you were the next person to email me about it, you get first right of refusal. 

The unit is in excellent condition, which I am sure you can see from the pictures. We know a lot of prospective renters want to take a quick look of the property, but my husband doesn't want me to send out the address, as there are a lot of crazy people out there these days. The last time we rented one of our units, we gave out the address without verifying people, and it was broken into and vandalized. We don't want that to happen again! I CAN tell you that it's a very special property, that would normally rent for quite a bit more than other comparable properties in the neighborhood, but again, we want to rent it out quickly, which is why we have priced it aggressively. 

All utilities are connected and will be transferred into your name after signing the lease. You will be responsible for cable, internet, and phone, if you decide to have these services. Just to confirm, we DO allow pets at this property, but just need to know the size and breed. The rental term is 12-month lease, but can be switched to a 6-month lease, if preferred. We just ask that you give us 30 days notice if you want to move out. 

If you would like to set up an appointment, go to the link below and request the free copy of your rental / credit report. We use this company for all the properties we manage. Just fill out the form and indicate that you want the free credit report. The actual scores on the report aren't important to us (we know times are tough and just about everyone has had credit, foreclosure problems), it's just that we like to have something on file for all of our tenants. Here is the link: GET CREDIT REPORT 

We only need to see the page about the rental history. That will be all you will need to bring with you to the showing. 

As far as getting together to see the property, I am available to show it any time from 10:00am to 7:00pm for the next couple of days. Let me know when you've printed out your credit report, and we will set up a time to do your walk-through. 

Thanks and I look forward to meeting you! 

Cindy 

"Today is Sunday and I will be in the office all day" 

This one didn't even have the brains behind it to stick to the same scam as the Craig's List posting. This posting is apparently well known, actually. http://flakelist.org/page/viewpub/tid/1/pid/3957
I'm losing faith but too desperate to quit looking. :/ Is there a Craig's List god I can pray to?

Well, as an interesting update, I just received another email from the Office Clerk ad I responded to and this time they got the scam ad right:


Hello,

We are happy to inform you that you have been chose as a potential candidate for our company.  There are currently 3 positions still available, and we you would like to fill one.
Before we move forward, I ask that you complete a short IQ quiz to see which position is most suited to you.  It helps us to evaluate you as a future employee, to see where you would best fit into our company.

This quiz can be found here
http://onlinescores360.com/?uid=65stpjQXTZ2V8s8m and must be completed in the next 48 hours to ensure you meet the cutoff for our next interview.

Once you have completed the quiz please confirm you mobile phone number so that we can ensure we have the proper contact number on file to reach you to schedule the in person interview.  Please allow us several days to call you regarding the interview to allow for processing time.

Please complete the previously listed steps ASAP as we only have 48 hours to set up interviews. When you have completed the quiz reply to this email and we will set a time for an interview.

Congratulations on becoming a candidate for our company!

Hiring Manager


After the first email from them, that was obviously a scam, I didn't respond so I find it an interesting tactic for them to try to write me back again. They're not exactly getting smarter, though. Isn't there some way we can get someone to patrol the internet for these horrible people?

For those who are curioius...

Tonight's Dream Brought To You By NyQuil

There is nothing better than the kind of dreams NyQuil brings on. Honestly. Last night I had one of the longest, most vivid dreams I've had in a while. And, for those who know me, that's actually saying something. There's almost no night I don't dream but last night was a little different.


After spending a second day suffering from some bizarre illness that gave me a very mild fever, a warm thick feeling in my throat, and a stomach that felt almost constantly on the verge of retching, I gave up withholding medicine. *cue the NyQuil*

 

It was the only medicine I could find on short notice and, since I didn't know what I had anyway, I might as well just take anything and hope it would make me feel better, right? Not so much. I wasn't ready to go to bed at 8:00pm. (Which is when I took the NyQuil.) I continued about my wild and crazy Friday night plans (watching things on Netflix instant queue and trolling the internet) and waited to feel better. I waited.


And waited...






And waited.................

It's alright, you can laugh. Everyone else does.

And, after a while, I could barely keep my eyes open but I still felt horrible. I was getting so sleepy, sitting on my couch, that I wasn't entirely sure I was going to be able to hold back that retching feeling I'd been having for two days. With the image of myself falling asleep on the couch and then throwing up on myself, I went upstairs and put myself to bed at 10:00pm.

I woke up all on my own, having not set an alarm, at six. Oh wait, I didn't. Some asshole was driving up and down LK Wood honking their horn. At first I ignored it. Then it stopped. Then it started again and I looked out my window, saw nothing and crashed again until it started up again. I looked out the window again. Yep. A car across the street was honking it's horn angrily at nothing I could see. I went back to sleep.


And then it began. My ultimate fantasy.

Yeeeaaah,  my fantasy really isn't this sexy.

This dream had everything I could ever want. Or as close as a dream can get you. My dream not only had my entire family in China but it had my friend Aaron, too.

How could anyone not want to be his BFF?

 And, even more realistically, it also had Cher.

"I always wanted to be a ring master."

Not only Cher, though, but I got to touch her. I got a hug. There was even a legitimate plot and stuff to my dream although it's hard to recall all these hours later. My best summary of the dream is as follows:


I am in China. My whole family is in China. I need to find Aaron before the Cher concert. As in all my China dreams, because they occur so frequently that I can track trends in them, we have just arrived in that same day. I reach in my bag for my phone, because I was smart and remembered to pack my old Chinese cell phone so all we needed was to buy more minutes somewhere. Just kidding, I didn't remember it. Damn. Bry remembers that she just bought a new AT&T Go Phone and that it will work if we just put a Chinese money/minute card in it. Perfect. Bry and I wander around talking to people in fluent Chinese as we search for a vendor that sells such cards. As we wander, we run into Aaron as well as Alia. Problem solved. We end up on some obscure tour thing before ending up at the place of Cher's concert. Cher's concert is taking place in the cafeteria from Coyote Valley Elementary School which has conveniently relocated itself to China for my dream. Lastly, of course, Cher. For some reason I briefly meet her while she is wandering around before her concert and she puts her arm around me and leads me somewhere. And then I just wake up. Thank you NyQuil.


I am still deciding whether or not it seems worth it to try to repeat the process again. This dream entirely reminds me of the Glee kid's experiences during the Britney episode. The reason being that, before I took the NyQuil, I watched videos of American people speaking Chinese, Bry got a new phone yesterday and of course Cher needs no explanation.

Speaking of China...

French 2

Today my French class had to split into two groups: buyers and sellers. I got stuck as a customer and had to ask the merchants how much their goods cost. I needed to buy a ring, gloves and a French book with only 270 euros. The goal was for the merchants to try to rip us off and for us to try to be super frugal. I failed miserably. At the end of the game I had 50 euros left. The point of this story, though, is that I accidentally ripped off Felicia Day. Alright, I didn't but it felt like it. 


The first person I tried to buy something off of was a guy selling a ring but someone else cut me off and started haggling with him in front of me. Jerk. I turned to my left and saw Felicia Day. Or, rather, this girl with brown hair who acted like Felicia Day. I told her confidently that I needed a French book. She looked me in the eyes, opened her mouth and... nothing came out. Her mouth had moved but I hadn't heard anything I could understand. I couldn't tell if it was because I didn't recognize the words or not. I asked her to repeat herself. She did. I realized I couldn't understand her because her voice was no louder than a whisper. All I made out was the word "dix". Ten. Sweet! She was selling me her book for ten freaking euros. DEAL! I paid her and walked away. 


At the end of the game, and after more haggling, I realized that one of the words I couldn't make out was "cent". One hundred. Uh oh. She was trying to charge me 110 euros. I had totally ripped off the mousy Felicia Day look-a-like and she had been so shy or quiet or whatever that she totally just let me. I felt horrible. And it hadn't even helped me win the game. What a horrible waste of accidental horribleness. 

She will never forgive me.

Speaking of foreign languages...

Pandering

Bry and I have noticed- because I am creepy and watch our stats- that we've got readers from all over the world now:


United Kingdom
Netherlands
Canada
Australia
Saudi Arabia
Malaysia
Russia
Philippines
Australia
Denmark
Dominica
Romania
Singapore
Finland
South Africa
Georgia
Greece
Kenya
Poland
Croatia
United Arab Emirates
Lithuania
Nigeria
Germany
Spain
Czech Republic
Switzerland
Bulgaria
Iran
Brazil
Guatemala


You guys rock! If any of you are actually following us, and not just stumbling across our blog and never returning again, PLEASE keep reading. To anyone from any country outside the USA who leaves us a comment, and tells us where you're from, we'll try to include something relevant to you in an upcoming blog. If nothing else, we can start some sort of dialogue or conversation because Bry and I have only been out of the country once. Sometimes our knowledge of other countries and their cultures can be rather limited or quite offensively backwards which leads to pictures like this:

I'm sorry.

Adventures in China Part One

This is just one part of a series of blogs to come that will be describing our time in China. The blue parts are written by Bry and are from an essay she wrote for a class. The green parts are from the travel diary that I kept while we were abroad. And the purple parts are from Bry's travel diary. The parts from our two diaries are also not the entireties of our diaries as not all of our entries were relevant or remotely interesting. Enjoy.

Rachel's travel diary

Bry's travel diary

Part I- Homeward Bound:

How going to China felt like coming home.

            It is odd to think about still, but on this day two years ago I was in my favorite place on Earth.  Yes, out of the whole planet, on November 12th, 2008 I was fortunate enough to have been in China.  However, before I began my studies, I, like many others I suspect, had only the most rudimentary knowledge of this awe-inspiring country.  I knew of the capital, Beijing, and thanks to several Jackie Chan movies I had heard of Shanghai in a much removed fashion.  Despite knowing next to nothing about the Middle Kingdom I continued to hold it in the highest regard, respect, and awe.  Even I knew not of the source of my own admiration, so a voyage to the land of the Sleeping Dragon seemed the best way to solve the mystery of the intense welling emotion that was produced in me whenever someone said the word: China.

            Not to anyone’s surprise, my identical twin sister- Rachel- was possessed by the same overwhelming feelings toward China.  Against my parent’s wishes, together we applied to the Study Abroad program in 2007, and jumped for joy when we received out acceptance letters shortly thereafter.  We were surprised to hear, though, that only five students total were going to be in our group headed abroad.  It was shocking to us to learn that a mere THREE other students in all of Humboldt State University felt the same burning desire to leave these shores and dive into the mysterious land of the East.  (Five was the fewest allowed number of people to sign up, any less and the whole trip would be canceled!)  The disappointment of having so few of us travel together was quickly replaced when it dawned on us that we were about to receive a very personal experience since there would only be the five of us HSU students in each of our classes.  (Our personal experience meant separating us from all the other foreign exchange students.)  Fantastic!

August 15^th, 2008

Well, so much for that.  I leave in exactly two weeks.  14 days until Rachel and I step onto that airplane in China.

People keep asking me if I am excited, and I dutifully answer “yes” because no one wants to hear all of my real thoughts.  How would they react if my answer was “terrified, actually”?  Does anyone know how scared I am to get on a plane?  To land in another country of which I hardly know the language?  Suddenly I wonder why I didn’t choose Mexico or France or Spain or Quebec or South America or Montreal or Senegal.  I could hold easy conversations there.

People try to reassure me that I won’t have to worry about my still developing Chinese skills because China is trying to Americanize itself and they will all want to test their English skills on me.  Hey, I hope so.

August 20^th, 2008

Tonight is night one away from Arcata.  We’re staying at Sarah’s home in Walnut Creek for the night, and tomorrow- on to the consulate!

T - 8 DAYS & COUNTING...

5:49pm PST

8-21-08

Thursday

This is Rachel Fix recounting day 2 of our journey home from Sarah's couch in Walnut Creek. Yesterday, Bry, Sarah and I made the incredibly long drive from Arcata to Walnut Creek, but not before running around in circles trying to get all of our papers turned in Once we had completed that, and avoided a parking ticket, we had our epic goodbyes with Chris and Jarod and then drove our pets to Petco to be put up for adoption. We paused at Taco Bell and then made our journey south.

The dates on the pictures are off by a few days.

You're welcome.

8:53pm PST

We stopped in Garberville and Cloverdale. At Sarah's house we had pizza for dinner and finally met Nora! After a mere 7.5 hours of sleep we all got up, had breakfast, and went to Build-A-Bear.. After picking up Sarah's paycheck, we pulled into San Francisco at about noon. First we accidentally followed the wrong street, but once we were on the right path it still took us almost an hour to walk there! Once we got there we were greeted by a long line and protesters. 

They were yelling "Shame, shame!" but it sounded like "Xie, xie!"... Chinese for thank you.

It took two hours, two trips to the ATM, a trip to the Japanese Mall, and three trips back to the lady behind counter number 9 before we settled and agreed to return tomorrow morning to pick up our visas and fork over $150 each. What was awesome about today was the fact that we were in and out of the Consulate so many times that they stopped using the metal detector wand on us. I hope that the same guys are there tomorrow. We also were forced to get our pictures re-taken for the visas. I got three extras. That's all for today. I'll write more when I'm home tomorrow.

August 21^st, 2008

Sarah, Rach and I are at the Chinese consulate building right now.  Yay Yay Yay!!!

6:50 PM  Same day.  We’re back at Sarah’s and we’re going to be spending the night again. J  We pick them up tomorrow.   We had to pay $10.00 for passport photos, but they gave us 3 extras.  I’m keeping one, giving one to Jarod, but #3?  

T - 7 DAYS & COUNTING

9:51 pm PST

8-22-08

Friday

Home. It's a good feeling. It's a unique feeling that I shall have to describe tomorrow.

T - 6 DAYS & COUNTING

11:56 am PST

8-23-08

Saturday

We got a bit of a late start yesterday. We ended up getting a late start and bought breakfast at a 7/11. We got donuts but I bought the kind from the Simpsons and a Radioactive Man comic book. 

I'm a big Simpson's fan.

We got our visas hassle-free and the guard was happy to see us again. After that we ate at the Japanese mall. today Aunt Kim came up to give us a long over due visit. At 5:40 I have to go babysit four adorable boys. I'll write about it tomorrow.

T - 5 DAYS & COUNTING

10:20 am PST

8-24-08

Sunday

Today, before I'd gotten to shower, I was driven to Kat's parent's house to visit Kat and Iris. She's getting so big! We exchanged gifts.

T - 3 Days & COUNTING

6:07 pm PST

8-27-08

Wednesday

                 

Bry and I took him to Davy's Dam where Bry and I swam in our bras and jeans. Today he took Alia, Bry and me to Highland Springs. The water was nice but there was seaweed and a pair of mayflies kept trying to mate on my head. There was  a rope swing but only Eddie was strong enough to use it. On the way back we were briefly followed by the cops but we eluded them. Before we left the car, Eddie made me go into the glove compartment and take out a letter addressed to me and Bry. After he left, I opened it to find a bunch of fun things alone with letters to us. I wish I could find my gold notebook because that's where my letter to Eddie is. That's all for now. I should shower.

A sticker from Eddie

August 28^th, 2008

We’re going for it.  This could be either a huge mistake or a good thing.  Also, our flight was postponed so we’re leaving on Saturday instead of tomorrow.

Poo.                              

T - Haha, just kidding

6:30 pm PST

8-29-08

Friday

Yesterday was hell. When we called Air China to confirm our flight we found out it had been cancelled! They bumped our entire trip back a day at no charge to us because it was their fault. Now we arrive in Xi'an just in time to take our placement test. Woo! After that we called Wells Fargo and had a huge hassle with them. It would be best if while we're abroad we don't use our credit cards. On top of that, Eddie never called me back yesterday.

Good Goddess, I'm really going, aren't I?

August 29^th, 2008 Friday

Slightly drunk.  Hiccuping.  Very tired.  Last night here.  Ooooh.

Need sleep.

            The flight from SFO to LAX was not only our first flight without parental guidance, at nineteen years old it was our first flight ever.  The tone for the whole trip was set when- due to the Airports fault- our flight was delayed by one day a mere three days before the flight.  I called and argued with a representative exclaiming the urgency of my need to be in China by a specific date- the first day of classes was September 3rd.  In retrospect, this outburst over the phone was likely the reason both Rachel and I were pulled aside in SFO for a special security check-point where we were individually placed in a tube to be bomb tested.  Yes.  This was post-9/11 America.  Two nineteen year old, identical blond twins were stopped because our tickets had been marked for extra security the moment they delayed our flight and I called to complain. 

            We left early on August 30th, 2008 and after a 14 hour flight of traveling into the future, we landed in Beijing on September 1st, 2008.  Somewhere in the sky we had lost a whole day.  It seemed very fitting to be completely disoriented in the Orient (to use an outdated and racist term politely).  Picture two children carrying too much, walking alone, scared and excited (admittedly mostly scared) into the largest airport terminal in the world.  (Construction began in March of 2004 and was completed in March of 2008.)  We stepped foot into the massive terminal a mere five months after its completion.  You are now imagining in your head the moment the culture shock hit us.

Lift-off!

8:24 pm PST

8-30-08

Saturday

I'm in the air! Goodbye San Francisco! the lights are so pretty! We're curving...? Still waiting for my ears to pop... Well, now is as good a time as any to have an adventure.

8:43 pm PST

Bry and I have just been hand delivered cans of Sprite. Sweet.

(Bry writes:)

I know I wasn't paying attention in physics, but:

A) How have the soda cans NOT explode/imploded/disappeared into the same dimension as Babylon 4?

and

B) Who decided that if you pointed an aerodynamic object skyward and put the pedal to the metal... you'd end up in the air??

also

C) What is that on the wing???

and lastly

D) Where are my peanuts?

2.5  million tons of spinning metal, all alone in the night...

August 30^th, 2008 Saturday

Okay, technically it’s Sunday morning.  I’m at LAX.  Los Angeles International Airport.  Sooo tired.  What an ordeal.  This is definitely not something I recommend anyone doing alone.  So far my day has been rough and I hope to sleep well on the plane.  A word from our sponsor while I go pee:

All I want to do is brush my teeth, put on a pair of pajamas and sleep.  It sure was nice seeing Eddie this morning. J  China?  What were we thinking?  We don’t speak Chinese.  I have no idea what: Ni mama! Means.

I am ready to nod off.  This old man, who looks like Mark Twain after a deep fried Twinkie eating contest, keeps staring at Rach and I.  That’s all for now.

Air China says 6242 miles to Beijing.  Wow.  Well that explains the 14 hours flight.  We are on the plane now.  It’s HUGE. 

I’m amazed.  :O  Two stories.  Windshield wipers.  Onboard music.  Complimentary pillows and blankets! 

We’re ten across and at least 18 back.

We’re moving!  1:37 AM

1:43 we’re moving, again.

We’re 16,000 ft up.  Traveling at nearly 500 mph.  Wow.

11:39 PM PST Haha, just kidding.  We’re 35,000 feet in the air.  Isn’t it nice of the airline to tell us?

How sweet of them.

Yata?

8:10am Beijing

9-1-08

Monday

Haha... funny story. Here I am, waiting for the plane to Xi'an to take off, an hour later than we were supposed to. Why? Let's start back in LAX. After we take off. 

8:45am

My Goddess is it beautiful from up here. It doesn't look like there are trees on the mountains. It looks like they're covered in moss. Anyway, after we arrived at LAX we went first in search of a bathroom and then for baggage claim. Once we waited for 15 minutes to no avail, we asked and we were told that our luggage was being moved to our next plane for us even though United Air had told us we'd have to do it ourselves. We then walked from Terminal 7 to terminal 4 (a long walk) before being stopped by a solicitor. We gave him money in exchange for directions. 

Behind her is a very pretty plane headed to Thailand.

Finally!

Once at Terminal 2, we stood in line for at least half an hour before we could check in. Hold that thought. Breakfast.

9:27am

We're above the clouds! Or, alternatively, the smog. (I'm such a dork, but I keep looking out the window in hopes of seeing the Great Wall.) After we finally get to check in, Bry and I buy coffee from a Starbucks and a lemon loaf. We settle down for a bunch of waiting and call home. They stayed up so they could talk t us! It made me so happy to hear from them. Anywho... Bry and I were some of the last to get to board. The plane was huge! It had two stories! Bry and I were stuck in between an elderly married couple. Sleep beckons.