Fifteen Minutes of Fame

If you've known us longer than a few minutes, you know that Bry and I shot a commercial and it never aired. NEVER. We were paid but never received our fifteen minutes of fame. We did, however, shoot a short movie back in 2008. Bry and I tried out to be in a student's written, directed and produced film for some class. This proved to be the ONLY thing that I have ever tried out for and gotten. The. Only. Thing. Clearly, this means that I am not meant to be a singer but am destined to play nothing but zombie roles until I die. Oh, had I mentioned that this was a zombie movie? It is. I was promised a copy of said movie that I never received. It wasn't until last year that I ever even saw the damn thing. It makes me chuckle. 

What we did have, however, were several truly awful pictures of ourselves in full zombie make up from the set. (The set being, of course, somebody's house. We almost missed out on our shot at fame by having a hell of a time finding the "set" the morning of the shoot.)

Here you can see the two of us in our zombie make up. Can you tell who is who?

Did I mention that I was an emo zombie? Damn! Now you know this is me.

Here you can see me, feeling ridiculous, and Bry looking ridiculous.

But here is what you've really been waiting for. Can you handle this? I don't think you can. Prepare yourself!

Are you ready?

Are you sure?!

Okay, here you go:

Literacy Wednesdays: Read a G*dd*mn Book *****The Colour of Magic*****

10 points to the House that correctly guesses which color it is!

For anyone who doesn't know us too well, Terry Pratchett is our all-time favorite author. One day, sophomore year of high school, we wandered into the library and we each checked out a book. I don't recall the book I checked out, it obviously wasn't life-changing, but Bry checked out Feet of Clay. She loved it. She wouldn't stop quoting the damn thing at me. We went back to the library and I found another book by the same author and decided to give it a try. I read Men at Arms. Honestly, I don't even remember what it was about (that having been eight years ago and all) but it was good enough to get me hooked as well. From there, Bry and I read every Terry Pratchett book that our tiny high school library had to offer us.

A very incapable wizard indeed.

Eventually, Bry and I managed to work out the simplest of things that was preventing us from fully enjoying the books: the order you read them in is kind of important. Most of the books are completely stand alone but everything makes a bit more sense if you start at Terry Pratchett's first discworld book and read forward. In that order you actually get to follow a few characters as they move up ranks in the guard or their budding relationship with a certain upper class lady. It is for this reason that we are highlighting Pratchett's FIRST discworld book and not our individual favorites. Those are to come later.

And now, a quote:

"There was, for example, the theory that A'Tuin had come from nowhere and would continue at a uniform crawl, or steady gait, into nowhere, for all time. This theory was popular among academics. An alternative, favoured by those of a religious persuasion, was that A'Tuin was crawling from the Birthplace to the Time of Mating, as were all the stars in the sky which were, obviously, also carried by giant turtles. When they arrived they would briefly and passionately mate, for the first and only time, and from that fiery union new turtles would be born to carry a new pattern of worlds. This was known as the Big Bang hypothesis."

For those of you who enjoy seeing the movie after the book, and not you people who see the movie first (horrible, horrible people) (Come to think of it, I've been that person more than once...), there is indeed a movie version of the Color of Magic! In fact, it is the Color of Magic and his second book, The Light Fantastic, all rolled into one. I would normally hate this idea but Terry Pratchett had his hand all over the making of the movie and even had a role in the movie! Watch it and see if you can find him.

Also, we're getting wary about lending out our poor, tattered copy of the Color of Magic but if you promise to take care of it we'll let you borrow it.

Try Again

As nobody seemed to notice, Bry and I forgot to post something on Wednesday. Whoops. Here's something to entertain you until this coming Wednesday. I wrote this as a writing exercise in my Dramatic Writing class.

JACKIE, 16 years old

PHIL, 16 years old

JACKIE

Phil, why are you wearing that?

PHIL

Because it looks cool?

JACKIE

Try again.

PHIL

I, uh, wanted to dress up for Halloween?

JACKIE

Halloween was Monday. Try again, Phil.

PHIL

Alright, alright! I have pink eye! Are you happy?

JACKIE

I already knew that, Phil.

PHIL

You already knew? How on earth could you already know?

JACKIE

Phil, you’re wearing a Phantom of the Opera mask. Not only does it only cover half of your face but it’s covering the side without pink eye. What the hell made you think that wearing that would hide the fact that you have pink eye?

PHIL

I was really just hoping that people would be so enamored with it that they wouldn’t realize...

After years of suffering from pink eye, he would eventually find a mask to better hide it.

Literacy Wednesdays: Read a G*dd*mn Book **The Faraday Girls**

Wednesdays were the night they were open until 8 PM!  Paaaarty!

The Redbud Library of Lake County, CA is a small but strong library.  The newest books are placed at the front in a proud display for a duration of time long enough to let everyone get a good peek at them.  One day I meandered by and picked up a new arrival: The Faraday Girls. 




It may look like a book for chicks, but that's because it is...


This book was published in 2007, but Lake County is always a little behind.  This book is aimed at young adults but written with a women's book club in mind.  "The Faraday Girls" follows the trials and tribulations of a family who emigrated from England to Australia.  Early on in the tale of their life, the reader follows the different view points of each family member.  This interesting take on the narrative allows us to see how each family member really feels about one another; it also allows us to have passages like this:

"It was like being in a film or playing at being a princess for a night, driving in a limousine through Manhattan in the hazy light.  Their first stop was the Algonquin Hotel for cocktails in the Blue Bar and then dinner in the Round Table Room.  Maggie had walked by the hotel several times over the past few weeks, peeping inside at the opulent lobby, the rich fabrics and leather, but never feeling confident enough to go inside.  It felt lovely to step inside now, with her grandfather beside her." p. 349

From another character's point of view we get: 

 "She'd present it to Clementine and Maggie on the little girl's fifth birthday.  It would be the perfect occasion.  She pictured Maggie's delight to see a whole scrapbook all about her, Clementine's graditude and amazement that Sadie had gone to so much trouble.  The others would be just as impressed, Sadie knew it.  She could hardly wait." p. 119

We looked good and hard to find a funny quote from the book, because we swear it does have some funny moments, but there weren't any that would stand alone without some background info on the characters and it has a lot of twists we didn't want to spoil.

READ THIS IF YOU ENJOY: chick flicks that don't solely revolve around sex.

This book can be summed up as a cross between When Harry Met Sally and Little Women because it follows a bunch of sisters through several decades.

Ask us if you want to borrow our well-loved (and hot chocolate stained) copy.

Literacy Wednesdays: Read a G*dd*mn Book **STARDUST**

It is quite possible that you are a fan of Neil Gaiman and unaware of it. Recognize this scene?

This is actually the first movie that Bry and I saw with David.

Among other things Neil Gaiman has written is the freakishly creepy Coraline. If you haven't seen Coraline, and if you haven't you NEED to, then perhaps you've seen the movie Stardust.

That's right, this is a picture of a star riding a freaking unicorn. 

And if you've seen Stardust then you know it's freaking fantastic, but did you know it's a book?

The Redbud Library back near our hometown had a free box near the front door.  The books and pamphlets you usually found in there were generally religious in nature, or very worn out.  One summer day I decided to brave the box and lo and behold there was Stardust.  A slightly used paperback, it shone up at me with pleading eyes: take me home.

It was brought home, it was read and it was deemed AMAZING.

This picture from vampire-knight.net does not accurately rate the awesomeness of this book.

Here are some awesome quotes to help persuade you to read this book:



“I knowed a man in Paphlagonia who'd swallow a live snake every morning, when he got up. He used to say, he was certain of one thing, that nothing worse would happen to him all day. 'Course they made him eat a bowlful of hairy centipedes before they hung him, so maybe that claim was a bit presumptive.” 







“He was painfully shy, which, as is often the manner of the painfully shy, he overcompensated for by being too loud at the wrong times.” 






“And there was a voice, a high clear, female voice, which said "Ow", and then, very quietly, it said "Fuck", and then it said "Ow", once more.”






“He shivered. His coat was thin, and it was obvious he would not get his kiss, which he found puzzling. The manly heroes of the penny dreadfuls and shilling novels never had these problems getting kissed.”

Literacy Wednesdays: Read a G*dd*mn Book

More and more these days people are turning away from reading good, old-fashioned books and finding different outlets (video games, tv, staring off into space, etc.) for their short attention spans. I am here to advocate for the poor dusty guys getting left behind in the, well, dust. Don't get me wrong, it's fantastic when teachers assign lots of readings they post online so that you don't have to lug bulky, heavy books around (Who needs exercise, anyway?) but I hate sitting at my computer trying to read. It can't be done. My computer has games, pictures and the internet which frankly makes it impossible to do homework without distraction. Every time I sit down to do some assigned online reading I end up on here, Cracked, FML, Texts From Last Night and so forth. So, despite the extra weight in my backpack or arms, I will forever advocate the book.

I still hate textbooks, though. I'm really here to stand up for people reading enjoyable books.

 

You're literally NEVER too old to enjoy one of these.

 This being said, every Wednesday, or as I'm going to call it: "Literacy Wednesdays: Read a G*dd*amn Book Day", Bry and I will be putting up a book review or two on books you (Yes, YOU!) should read. If you've read it, leave a comment and let us know what you think of it.

First review to come next week.

Brilliant Idea

After attending a writing workshop I was inspired to start writing again. The only problem, because of course there's a problem, is that between school and work I have hardly any time to write. Boo. In rides the white knight of good ideas, however, and brings me my brilliant idea!

\

According to Google, White Knight is a character in a game or something.

After the white knight of ideas brings me my idea, I sit down in the only possible place I can write in my spare time (Bayshore Mall's food court) and begin my new story. It starts as follows:

She had never intended to leave the party with a stranger. A sexy stranger. Hell, she hadn't even been intending to stay long enough to finish a drink. It's not that she was a rude person by nature, she just never felt comfortable in a short dress and heels. She was a cop. Her uniform was more comforting to wear than a plush robe and slippers after a bubble bath. Her uniform came with a gun. She needed that sense of security by her side to feel safe.

This wasn't safe. Two drinks and a flirty conversation later, though, and here she was. his name was Jeff. or was it George? There was no subtle way to ask him now that she was in his apartment watching him strip off his shirt. His skin was tan and taught over his bulging muscles. He ripped his shoes from his feet and hopped onto his bed. He pulled down his pants, revealing the hard bulge beneath. She gasped at the size of his

"Jesus Christ!" she muttered under her breath. "What on earth made me think I could write like this? How does anybody write like this?!"

"Having trouble with your homework, dear?" asked a voice from the kitchen.

"I'm fine," she called back, shutting her notebook. In retrospect, trying to write a romance novel while visiting her grandmother should have struck her as a bad idea.

I think my shocked Grandma image might be an old man in drag...