What It Takes To Get To China

Go ahead and hit play before continuing for a more authentic reading experience.

We keep updating you folks on our comings and goings in regard to preparing for China, but a good portion of the record keeping is for our sake.  The last time we were preparing to leave the United States and head off on a China Adventure was exactly five years ago, and we were so excited at the time that I thought we'd remember every moment vividly.  Because of that dumb notion, we only started a travel diary less than a week before we left.  

You didn't need those memories, did you?

Five whole years have passed since we first began traveling through the endless adult world of bureaucracy and medical exams that moving to a new country forced us to take part in.  This involved signing documents swearing we were not forever abandoning America, and getting medically tested to prove that we were entering China fit as a fiddle.The process started just around Christmas of 2007, took about nine months to finish, and only ended once we plopped our butts down on the pretty uncomfortable twin beds the Xi'an International Studies University provided for us.  Unfortunately, we did not document the details well enough to be of much help this time around.  Here is what we remember from five years ago:

APPLICATIONS:

(THEN) We applied to only one school.  XISU.  I suppose we were really hopeful, considering we would have gladly gone to any school in any other city in China (Beijing, Shanghai, Hong Kong, Qingdao, or literally anywhere else would have done), yet we only applied to XISU.

Pictured in Archway: Overly Hopeful American

We applied to four American universities during senior year of high school.  This was partially to ensure we'd get in at least somewhere, and mostly because we had not entirely made up our minds on which college to attend at all.  Humboldt State accepted us mere weeks after we'd mailed our applications off, and that sealed the deal.  So, how was it that less than three years after starting college we suddenly became brave (read as: stupid) and confident (read as: cocky) to the point of only applying to one school?  I'll never know.  I believe there is one key similarity between the two, however.  When a friend two grades ahead of me, and whom I trusted, told me outright that Rachel and I were GOING to apply to HSU, and we were definitely GOING to attend it as our university of choice... I had never even heard of it.  I had never heard of Humboldt State, Humboldt County, or anything else in California north of Ft. Bragg.  Naturally, it seemed foreign and exciting. 

I googled "foreign and exciting" to find a funny image and came up with nothing good. Seriously. Google that shit.

We applied and were promptly accepted. At HSU, when our Chinese professor put forth the idea of several of us students moving to Xi’an for a study abroad attending XISU… we were intrigued by the idea for neither of us had heard of the school or the city before. Foreign and exciting? COUNT US IN!

Around two and a half months later we received our acceptance emails from XISU; I still have this email because I am too damn proud of it to delete it.

(NOW) Not wanting to break our lucky streak, we applied for only one job. (Though, to be fair, there weren’t a whole lot of positions being offered in Xi’an.) We completed a Skype interview, and were hired a few days later. After a few weeks, their emails started to sound a little “scammy” and their further requirements from us were “pushy” so we ended all contact with that business. (The final straw was a slew of crazy-negative reviews online from former teachers.) We were briefly worried that may have been our last chance (since we’d only ever needed on chance before) but were rewarded with another job listing in Xi’an. After a lovely Skype interview, we were essentially hired on the spot! Yippee!

No joke, somewhere in Eureka there is an actual man named Ron Swanson.

MINIMUM REQUIREMENTS:

(THEN) To be accepted into XISU, we had to have completed at least level one of basic Mandarin Chinese... preferably with a good grade. And, we would be outright accepted if we had taken any more levels than that. Well, we had just finished level two when we applied in December of 2007! This is hard for me to say, but we did not take that class seriously... and even missed the final because of a mix-up while reading the final schedule. Luckiy, the professor was understanding, and she even gave us an incomplete grade for the course as long as we signed a document promising to complete the final upon our return.

(NOW) To be hired as an English teaching in China took very little effort. All we needed was a BA (in ANYTHING... I cannot stress this enough) and a desire to leave America: done and done. OK, in all fairness it was a little harder. We did end up having to take and pass a TEFL (Teaching English as a Foreign Language) certification class online. Mainly we just had to FIND jobs in Xi'an first. What? Why Xi'an? Why not any of those other cities I listed earlier in this blog post? Here's why:

How could you say no to this face???

Five years ago we made this kid a promise to return.  We're the Fucking Awesome Team, and we will be reunited.  We met him after only being in China for four days.  We hung out almost every day after that.

MEDICAL EXAM:

(THEN) After not having seen a dentist for a few years, we went to the local clinic and had all our work done over a series of months.  At the very same clinic, we got a preliminary physical done.  The doctor heard me say we were going to China, saw that I have diagnosed asthma, and considered me crazy from there on out.  

Am I the only one who remembers how popular this kid used to be?

Because we had never been vaccinated before (you read that right) we needed a whole slew of shots.  FUN!  Seriously though, two shots in one arm and three in the other.  A month later we needed to get the second round of shots.  Identical.  Two shots in one arm and three in the other.  Ouch.  

I'm not afraid of needles, but I was glad when it was over.  We were working as student housekeepers at the time (cleaning dorms and whatnot) and had to go right back to work when we were done getting poked.  Our arms were sore for a week straight, swollen and warm to the touch.

It left us feeling like this. 

(Yesterday) Today I woke up, had cereal, drank a cup of coffee, showered, and then got my butt back to that very same clinic to get the same physical.  This time around I had paperwork for them to fill out.  The good doctors needed to check me for polio, tuberculosis, mental psychosis, HIV, syphilis, curvature of the spine, and a whole lot of other fun stuff.  She was baffled as she read the papers, but the doctor was a good sport about it.  This time around I only need one shot!  Turns out the Hepatitis A & B twin-shot is a three part series of which I only had the first two rounds.  Oops.  On top of that we had to test me for Tuberculosis, and they drew blood to check for HIV and syphilis.  It was a whirlwind of  poking.  I got the TB bubble test first, and then they drew blood.  When it finally came time to get the Hepatitis A & B shot, I was unable to roll my sleeve up enough... and in a moment of awkward embarrassment... I had to take my shirt off to get the shot.  Lastly, I was prescribed Typhoid pills.  It is a four pill series, upon completion of which one is vaccinated against the disease.  (Wikipedia is saying that the vaccine works effectively in 70 - 90% of  cases... that's good, right?)  Also, you've probably used the phrase, but here's everything you probably never knew about the real Typhoid Mary.

(TODAY) I went in to get my physical taken care of today, and had a pretty cool doctor get to laugh with me over the poor translations on our form we have to get filled out. Looks like Bry and I are going to have to return and get vaccines to prevent this thing we've never even heard of before today: Japanese Encephalitis. Fun, fun.

VISAS:

(THEN) Having virtually no knowledge about how this process works, and without internet in our apartment to do any real research, we set off with Sarah to go get our visas something like two weeks before we were scheduled to fly to China. You are, no doubt, familiar with this sticker?

Who didn't grow up with their parents having this sticker on one thing or another?

Have you seen this sticker in action?

Yeah, we hadn't either.

You can't see our faces, but we're thinking, "Dear god, just let us get our visas without all the yelling!"  We were unaware that because we didn't make it into the consulate before noon that we would have to return the next day to pick them up. Now we know better.

(NOW) We are currently waiting on our director in China to send us the forms we'll need to get out visas. As soon as we get word, we can request three days off work to travel once again to SF to get visas. Instead of staying with Sarah's lovely parents this time, we will most likely be getting a hotel room for two nights. Any suggestions for cheap hotels that don't have bars on their windows?

No joke, if you type "sketchy hotel" into Google, this is one of the options...

Until we get word that we can go down to SF, I guess we'll just keep on doing what we do best.

Just when you thought bocce ball couldn't get any more epic!