What Were They Thinking???

One of the best parts for me in each of my foreign language classes was getting to choose a new name.  The act of deciding upon a new identity was a ritual that began every beginning foreign language course, and as a student I enjoyed taking on my foreign language persona for an hour or two during the school day.  In Spanish class I chose the name "Rosana" which looked like a combination of my first and middle name: Bryana Rose.  And in French I chose the name Aïcha because I thought the two dots over the "i" looked cute.  On both occasions I chose my name from a list of names in my textbook and it was approved by my teacher.  

Last semester, which was my first semester as an ESL teacher, I struggled to take role every day and never had a solid system in place for calling on students when I wanted class participation.  "But, Bry-" you question, "why didn't you just call their names?" "Ah ha!" I say to you.  I cannot read their names, whether written or typed, as Chinese characters.  They must tell me, or write down, the pinyin (or Romanized) version of their name.  For instance, 王飞飞 will be written out as Wáng Fēifēi.  This name makes me giggle, and if you are anything like me then you think it also sounds like a name for a well-endowed Chinese poodle.

Don't have too much excitement there, Fei Fei.

This is the actual name of one of my students, as is 杨 义青 or Yáng YìQīng.  Now this name seems boring and typical to me.  It was the name of the first student in my morning class on Monday, so I used it as the example name for every other class when instructing the students to please write the pinyin of their names.  As soon as the students saw or heard this name the whole room would erupt into laughter.  I don't know if it is a silly name or if the students recognized this person by his name and thought it was funny that he was my example, but either way I knew there had to be a better way!  

Enter: the naming ceremony.  After a Power Point where I introduced myself, I had each student write out some sentences about themselves and then choose an English name.  (For some background information on the Chinese and their English name habits, go HERE.)Then they would read their paper to the class and afterward I would wave my hands and shout out their new English name like a game show host.  Fun for me.  Embarrassing for them.  (I'm getting my practice for being an awkward parent out of the way now.)  Now, herein lies the problem.  Some students chose names off my Top 100 Baby Names list, and some did their research and chose... uh... unique "names".

These are pulled from both of our classes, as we have 13 classes between us.

The following are people who chose Chinese sounding names.  Basically new Chinese names:

*Lanbo

*Kai Wen

*Maike

*Misaya

The following are girls who chose boys names:

*Allen

*Steven
*Clion (pronounced "Colin")

The following are boys who chose girls names:

*Jasmine

*Eren

*Aria

*Zoe (Chosen several times... pretty popular!)

*Mackenzie

*Lucy

*Ruby

*Amber
*Rose
*Sunny

The following are mostly boys but there are some girls mixed in, too. We've arranged these from what we consider most normal to WTF: 

*Bryant (as in Kobe)

*Akon (yes, the singer) (except that he can't pronounce it correctly)

Much like Ted Mosby and the word "chameleon", many Chinese students only ever
see words but never hear them pronounced.

*Eason
*Carte
*Jiessie

*Arno
*Talon (we actually know someone by this name, but it's still fairly uncommon)

*Eden
*Villa
*Sweety

*Minis
*Felix
*Jovita (Pronounced "Zovita")
*Brio 

Brio, what are you doing in America? We have class tomorrow.

*Khunnie (Pronounced "Queenie")
*Queena (Conveniently in the same class as "Queenie")
*Apple
*Summer (One boy and at least two girls)
*Honey

*Star
*Blue (At least one boy and girl)
*Green

*Rex
*Angel (That she insists is spelled Angle)

*Culle (Apparently pronounced "cool")
*Tony Williams (First person to choose a first and last name.)
*Sunshine
*Leaves
*Bamboo

*Night

*Monkey
*Wolf
*Pitbull
*Raiden

I wasn't sure how to pronounce this until I verified that this is in fact who he named himself after.

*Tony Stark

*Superman
*Little Eight
*Jelly

*OK

*Faker
*Fuck

This doesn't even take into account all of the multiples we have. In one class alone I had two Amy's and an Aimee. Luckily, two of them later opted to change their names (to Summer and Honey...). Like Western food, China just doesn't get Western names. But that's fine. Who doesn't love getting to try to call on "OK?" to answer a question. Or "Fuck?" for that matter. No, the real problem is that they choose names that are just too similar sounding for them to distinguish.    

In one class I have an April and an Avril. No matter how much I try to over-pronounce their names so that it's easier for them to hear, they never get it right. I also have an Ada and an Anna in that class and they can't tell their names apart. In another class I have the same problem with an Emma and an Anna. Sometimes, it's a bit of a nightmare. You'd think we could get away with skipping this whole "English name" formality, but the truth is that we can't pronounce their real names. It goes a little like this:

This might be an exaggeration. 

Ode to XAPI

Our school makes some odd choices. A month ago we gave and graded our finals. We input our grades and were done with it. Today, in the middle of Bry giving a class, our assistant rushed over to tell us we had to go fix something. I went with him. Turns out that something we should have/easily could have done a month ago we were never told to do. Then they waited a whole month to tell us. Then they decided it was really important to do by tomorrow... Part of it involved writing down our students' Chinese names... Yeah... that was never going to happen. But it prompted me to write a poem in my head as XAPI fueled my hate-fire (Can you name that movie?).

My patience is waning.

Ode to XAPI

This school is so frustrating
I could pull out my hair
Apparently there's rules
But I'm still unaware

They make them up randomly
Or so it would seem
Just to frustrate a foreigner
Trying to live out a dream

Pretty good, right? Now, how about some more frustrations. Yesterday, I had my first class of the semester. At the end, a student came up and started talking to me. His English was pretty good so when he followed Bry and I to lunch we weren't too annoyed. He proceeded to insist he buy us lunch. I didn't turn him down. I told him what I wanted and told him that Bry and I would share. Then he bought Bry her own food. Now, Bry and I have been sharing food on campus after we learned that there are no optional serving sizes and that somehow the Chinese can eat FAR more than we can in one sitting. When he sat that food down in front of me, I knew I would never be able to finish it. Sure enough, when I was done about half the food on the plate left.

Being in China can feel like this...

When I got up to go throw it away he said, "You are full?" I said, "Yes." He then proceeded to point to a poster on the wall and asked me if I knew what it said. I said no even though I am aware of what it stands for. He began to LECTURE me on how hard the peasants work to make the food we eat and that it shouldn't be wasted. I reminded him that I said Bry and I share and that HE had ordered twice as much as we normally eat. He said he understood and we dropped it but... What the hell??? Students and teachers either have a much different relationship here than in America OR nobody gives Bry and me any respect here. Bry and I used to go out with one of our professors for beer and I would never have thought of calling him out on any behavior (not that I found anything he did odd in the first place). Where's the respect?

So much of this.

Dirty Teachers

No, not like that!

Bry and I recently got our new schedules for class this semester and... well, I already miss our old ones. Now we're getting up for class at 8:10am four days a week. When are we supposed to shower???

Now I miss my cats.

Now, I know what you're going to say. Just wake up earlier and shower. Well, little do YOU know that between about 11pm and 6:00am our water shuts off every day. We're still not sure why. We have to plan our lives around this finicky water source we have (which is still better than when we ran out of propane for two days while Steven was visiting) which can mean that if we stay up too late we lose our chance to brush our teeth or flush. If we forget to fill our electric tea kettle, we end up spending the next day sans coffee.

I don't want to complain, but...

At least our next semester has finally begun. We get to begin counting down the days until we get to come home! About 20 week left. Once we've bought plane tickets we'll begin an official countdown.

.

..

...

....

.....

......

.......

........

.........

..........

You're welcome.