Slightly Self-Obsessed

Saturday, February 25, 2012

Fun With East Asian History

You know that amazing moment when it hits you that all of a sudden everything is going your way? Maybe? No? Well, that feeling hit me several days ago.

I'm clearly blissfully unaware of something.


All of a sudden it hit me that I had just gotten back several gold star tests:

I'm not sure where he got the idea for this but nothing makes me feel happier than earning one of his gold stars.



And had gotten back several other great quizzes in other classes and all of a sudden the whole world seemed brighter.

Only one day a year looks like this in Arcata.

In the honor of the ridiculously good mood I'm in, I've decided to finally share all of my professor's funny quotes from last semester. If there is context to any of these, I'll try to include it but for the most part there isn't any necessary.



"You, with the beard..."


"I take the sky and the stars as my roof and this hut as my trousers. Gentlemen, what are you doing in my trousers?"


"There are almost 55 people depicted in this scroll. It's like a Song Dynasty 'Where's Waldo'."


Sui is pronounced sway:
"Who started the examination system? Here's a hint." *Begins rocking from side to side* "It was the Sui."


"Song Dynasty perverts were the men who would steal the slippers off a window sill to take them home and... I don't know, sniff them?"


Chinese Gods are sometimes people who actually existed at one point and have become almost like saints in the Chinese culture:
"Chinese gods are like the 'Sixth Sense' of gods. I see dead people."


He was talking about Chinese long bows:
"So, clearly these are very powerful weapons. Even accounting for exaggeration."


"I don't even remember what the incident was about. I don't think it's important. What's important is the fighting and violence!"


"He's depicted kind of like a Monk-shaped dildo."


"The Mongols were like the Borg. Resistance really is futile."


"To be supreme dictator you can't really have friends around. But that's alright, you can always make new friends."


"They killed the Sultan of Bukhara by pouring molten silver down his throat, which I imagine is a really bad way to die. But that's what you get for angering the Khan."


"Blah, blah, blah. Plague. Alright, and the Mongols wore spiky helmets."


"You get a bunch of people in a room to debate their religious beliefs and, well, it's more entertaining than ballet or opera."


"I don't think he actually had a glowing, magic sword but I could be wrong."



This is Oda Nobunaga, who supposedly had a glowing, magic sword.

Those are all my quotes from last semester. At least from this teacher. It was a fun class. Take HIST 107. It's worth it for the gold stars and laughs.

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