Rachel's Motivational Touchstone

Hit play!

Alright, Rachel, let's be honest... Sometimes things can get a little crazy. Or hectic, as you have just recently taught your students. And just to be really clear, I know you. We've been together a long time. If we were married, we'd have just celebrated our silver wedding anniversary. Nobody knows better than me, then, just how likely you are to give up or freeze when times start getting tough. Grad school is going to be tough but with a little motivation, we can get through it!

Some days you just feel like feeling sorry for yourself all day would be the most
productive thing you could accomplish. I get that.

I remember what we used to be like. It used to be that we couldn't even speak for fear of hearing our own voice. Talk about ridiculous. Remember how much this song used to mean to you? For a couple of months this song used to be the only thing that helped you fall asleep at night. Now, six years later, you can hear it and think back to how difficult those times were but also look back at all you managed to accomplish anyway. We're awesome, remember??? At 25 you are sitting in your very plain, and fairly cold, Chinese living room because you graduated college and got yourself a full time teaching position in China! How many other people can say that?!

.....................

Well, Bry can... because she came with us. I guess two out of 7 billion isn't too shabby, though. If you've wandered back here several months or years after creating this post, you could probably stand to hear this song again. I get it. Times get difficult and you and I both know that we find the most comfort in listening to something that will maybe make you cry all the while singing loudly along with it. Go ahead and finish the song, probably through tears, and take the next few minutes to clean up around you. (I know you. I know that if you're coming here again that you've probably let yourself get so overwhelmed that you haven't cleaned in a few days. Or weeks...)

Finished? Are you ready for some motivation that only you can provide?

Hit play!

Let's take a took at all the things that you've accomplished!

One day, probably waaaaay back in 1989, you got jealous of your sister and finally took your first steps!

What? Okay, I guess you're right. That's going back a bit far. 

In third grade, 1996, you saw that nobody was friends with the new girl. You decided that you would be friends with her. It wasn't a long friendship, but from that moment forward you always tried to make friends with anyone you saw that was alone. Despite being very shy yourself, you always managed to overcome that in order to make someone else's day.

In fifth grade, 1998, you struggled with homework. It's not that you couldn't do it but rather that you didn't seem to be able to find the motivation to turn it in once it was finished. This led to you almost being held back. With the thought of being a grade behind your twin sister in your mind, you spent the entire summer working hard on making up homework and managed to prevent yourself from getting held back! Woo-hoo! 

In seventh grade, 2001, you weren't very good at math. You were devastated when you found out that you had to repeat pre-algebra, but, if it wasn't for retaking that class in eighth grade, you might not have made it all the way to Trig before graduating high school. 

Also in seventh grade, you competed in track. You have never been athletic, we know that. And you only joined because Bry wanted to spend more time with a certain boy who had joined the team as well. But even after she had to drop out, you continued competing. You would never again participate in a sport after this year, but you did manage to get your scrawny, gangly-ass a few ribbons in shot-put. 

Third place is better than nothing!

In eighth grade, 2002, you graduated middle school. This may only seem like a minor accomplishment, but at the time you were very excited because, as your mother had told you a hundred times, your grandfather had only made it that far in school before having to drop out. It was at this point in your life that you first got a taste of what it is like to know that you are more educated than someone else in your family. (Although, by the time you had graduated he had been dead for two years.)

In ninth grade, 2002-2003, you had perfect attendance. You did it in the hopes of trying to win a car, which would have been pointless anyway, but you did end up winning $75! You were one of less than ten students in the entire school of some 400 students who managed to have perfect attendance that year.

This same year, you put aside your debilitating shyness and joined choir. You never wanted to be a rock star, but you did learn to sing on perfect pitch. If you hadn't gotten over your shyness you would never have gone on to sing your three favorite pieces of music later in college. (But more on that to follow!)

In tenth grade, 2003-2004, you had perfect attendance. You did it in the hope of getting ANY sort of recognition, but the new leadership at school had done away with the program you participated in the year before. You ended up having perfect attendance for no other reason than the ability to say you did it. Not what you'd been looking for, but still an achievement.

This same year you competed in History Day. You had done so in 7th and 8th grade as well, but this year was different. This year you were actually fairly good. This year you managed to make it out of the county and into the state-wide competition! You lost horribly there, but you did get the chance to say you'd gotten to go to state for anything at all, stay in a hotel for the weekend, and brag at your school that you'd gotten somewhere in a competition. You wrote an entire script for a ten minute play, did extensive research (before the internet was super helpful), and learned how to do an Irish accent. Did I mention the shiny ribbon they gave you?

Getting to go to Sacramento was pretty cool, too.

In eleventh grade, 2004-2005, you had to transfer schools and leave behind all of your friends. You managed to not only make new friends, but to go on to get excellent grades and become student of the month your very first month! You continued to sing in choir and became a much better singer. You would never go on to sing a solo, but your teacher, Mr. Aiken, could see how talented of a singer you were. You had felt like a failure at music for a long time after giving up the flute after fifth grade, but in eleventh grade you began to feel good about music again.

In twelfth grade, 2005-2006, you could have taken less classes at school but you chose to take a full schedule. Not only that, but you gleefully CHOSE to take hard classes, too. You took:

Honors Civcs/Econ
Honors English 12
Choir
Chemistry
Spanish 3
Trigonometry
French 1

All of the other students thought you were crazy. A science class, a math class, two honors classes and two language classes. WHAT??? Yeah. And you know what? You rocked at it, too! You graduated senior year with an A+, four A's and two C's. Okay, you weren't great at civics or chemistry. But, realistically, something had to give somewhere. There's a lesson to remember.

In November 2005, you were accepted into all four colleges you applied to!

In June 2006, you graduated high school!

Remember how Aunt Kim's car briefly broke down and you almost didn't make it?

Remember how we listened to this album all year after 

we'd finally gotten sick of Hot Fuss? Hit play!

In August 2006, you began your first semester of college!

At the time you had a hard time imagining life after high school, but nothing much really changed initially.

In the first week of classes, without any real experience, you joined a marching band!

I could have used a less terrible picture, but I'm guessing this one made you laugh.

Your first semester of college you got all A's! You'd never gotten all A's!!!!!!!!

In spring 2007, you took your first Chinese class! At last you had found a language that challenged you. You didn't do as well as you'd hoped and that fired your passion to change your major from music (which was always a mistake, let's be honest) to International Studies concentrating in Chinese Studies.

Later in 2007, you applied to be a part of the group of students that were going to study abroad in Xi'an, China (a city you'd never heard of) and found out several months later that you'd been accepted!

In February 2008, your friend Kaia made you sit in on her University Singer's rehearsal and you got to hear Mozart's Requiem (one of your favorite pieces of music) sung live. You were so surprised that you almost cried. Kaia asked Harley if you could join the class and he said yes! You got to live out your first dream. You went on to sing with that group until graduation years later.

In April 2008, you starred in a college short film about zombies and played the gothic zombie daughter named Ash. You were incredibly nervous but the video was probably awesome (you wouldn't know for sure until it was finally put onto youtube some... four or five years later).

Gothic zombie, what a concept.

In May 2008, you got your first apartment! You moved out of the dorms, and out of your parent's house, and moved into an adorable townhouse that would never be clean again from that day forward.

Also in May 2008, you began your very first full time job! Not until this year, 2013, would you have another. You worked 40 hours a week cleaning dorms in order to pay rent, bills and afford plane tickets to China.

In August 2008, you flew to China! You lived there for three and a half glorious months and barely learned any of the language. An incredible feat.

You did learn that China is a big fan of tiny, tall stairs in all
reaches of society. Buildings. Mountains.

In spring 2009, you got to go on tour with the University Singers. It was just several days of epic fun. You felt like a rock star!

And you got to play miniature golf with your professor!

In May 2009, you made a terrible judgement call that was a wonderful turning point in several lives. You decided it would be a great idea to adopt a kitten even though your apartment complex didn't allow pets AND you are allergic. Terrible idea. Turned out great.

When you miss him being tiny, remember that he was a terror before he was a year old.

At the beginning of the summer of 2009, you worked up the courage to text your biggest crush and ended up becoming very good friends with him after not talking for two years. Later that summer you tricked him into being your date to your best friend's wedding. By December, you managed to convince him to date you!

Seven years earlier he was your first slow dance. 

June 2010, you were requested to be in a commercial. You didn't try out, you were asked for specifically!

And they paid you to get pampered!

Summer 2010, you adopted another cat. Fantastic decision even if you protested it.

Frankie!

Summer 2010, you lost your financial aid eligibility and had to spend the next two semesters trying to earn it back. You had fallen into bad habits at school and, even though at the time it felt like the worst thing in the world, this was probably the only reason you actually managed to pull off graduating college.

February 27, 2011, you began working at Bed Bath and Beyond. It was your first job working without Bry. Initially you were super nervous about it, but you ended up rocking at it and stayed for two and a half years!

You rocked at that job!

Summer 2011 you found out that you'd be able to continue going to HSU!

August 2011, you began taking classes at HSU again.

In all of 2012, you had perfect attendance again! It was hard but you actually pulled it off.

In May 2012, you walked. Technically you weren't graduated, but that wasn't important in the moment.

Don't lie, this is your favorite picture from that day!

In December 2012, you actually finished college but with much less pomp and circumstance. Even still, an incredible feat!

In March 2013, you signed a contract saying that you would teach English in China at the Xi'an Aeronautical Polytechnic Institute.

In August 2013, you had your last day of work at Bed Bath and Beyond, said goodbye to everyone you love, and flew to China to begin your year of work abroad.

Next time, maybe less luggage?

In September 2013, you began grad school. Several years ago you would have thought this an impossible feat.

And now, here you are! Sitting on your Chinese couch writing this blog as a homework assignment for grad school. You rock! Look at all you've accomplished! You are amazing! Grad school may get hard, but just keep coming back to this blog to remember how much you have accomplished.

If life is getting you down for reasons other than just school, then THIS is the blog post you should be looking at to cheer you up.

Just remember that you are very, very loved and that you are awesome even when you don't feel like you are. Never give up.

It's only a little bit longer until Steven visits. It's only a little bit longer until you get to come home. It's only a little bit longer until you see your family again. It's only a little bit longer until you finish your degree. Just remember to keep trying.

Remember that people love you. 

And remember to never give up.