There once were two girls from Loch Lomond,
Who couldn't find rhymes for Loch Lomond,
They used all their might,
And stayed up all night,
But still had no rhyme for Loch Lomond.
We opted to do History Day to get out of doing debates in English. Best. Decision. Ever.
Prom 2006: Who needs a date when you've got a Kat?
Yes, this is way old. August 2008. But don't we look awesome?
This is our Kat. We met her in sixth grade at the end of her driveway. Her new puppy peed at our feet and from then on we clung to her like moss. It's amazing to think that it's been over ten years since we met. We've stayed friends despite moving several times and are aunts to her adorable daughter Iris.
Five Years Later
Well,
they say if you’ve been friends with someone for more than seven years you’re
likely to be friends for life. In 2011, when we first wrote about Kat we’d
known her for 12 years. This year our friendship hits 17. I think it’s safe to
say we’re going to be friends for a very, very long time. Now, if only we could
get her to return to California!
August 22nd, 2009. Should have shown this the last time. Here's that one time we were in Kat's wedding.
May 2010. Here's that one time we were at her sister Jennifer's wedding.
April 9th, 2011. Here's that one time we were all at Bry's wedding.
December 2011. Celebrating Iris' birthday and the fact that Kat is about to have Calvin who I apparently have no photos with.
July 2014. That one time we were at Alicia's wedding.
August 2015. That one time Bry was too pregnant and had to fly back to China and missed Mary and Aaron's wedding.
So. Many. Weddings. And mine is next!
July 2nd, 2016. Don't complain that it's a holiday weekend. It's Bry's fault. And nobody stopped me before I put a deposit on our venue.
It has been a little more than five
years since Bry and I started writing this blog in the hopes of becoming wildly
famous! Just kidding, we just really enjoy writing. But five years ago we
did a photo challenge and having recently reread those posts I decided that we
should revisit them to see what has changed in five years.
Still displeased. (Right picture is in China.)
1. I feel special when animals or babies sleep on me or in my arms.
Five years later: Yeah, that's still true. These days it's just Alice that's in
my arms, but how many babies and animals can you hold at one time anyway?
Update from several minutes later: Bry was asleep and I got to try to move
sleepy Alice to my bed but she was waking up. She stretched in my arms and let
out a giant fart. Mmm. Babies.
2. I love bad movies. I collect
them.
Five years later: Who even really collects movies anymore. Netflix is cheaper.
I try to buy movies- old movies I want to share with my nonexistent kids,
though. Most recently I bought Beetlejuice and Hocus Pocus.
3. I can't sleep with socks on. I
just can't do it no matter how cold I am.
Five years later: Yes. Still the same. Who in the hell can sleep with socks on?
4. My usual nightmares involve
losing someone I love or all my teeth.
Five years later: Yup! I've added two or three wedding nightmares to the mix,
but my most common ones are about losing teeth. They fall out and I try to
shove them back in and make them stay. Never works.
5. I usually make funny faces in
pictures on purpose for fear of trying to take a good picture and it turning
out horrible.
Five years later: See picture above.
6. I enjoy doing grandmotherly
things like baking, crocheting and wearing silly sweaters.
Five years later: I recently crocheted an octopus. And I am currently wearing
an ugly sweater that Steven gave me five years ago.
7. I still have a crush on Shang
from Mulan.
Five years later: He's still dreamy. Last summer, I tried to convince David to
buy Alice either a stuffed Shang and Mulan doll or Shang and Mulan Barbie dolls
from the Disney store in the mall. He surprised us all by buying one of each
Mulan. WHAT GOOD IS THAT???
8. I wish I were talented enough to
be in musicals.
Five years later: Since writing this, I got to sing Carmina Burana. Not a
musical, but it did at least fulfill a life dream. I also got to sing WAY more
karaoke so I'll have to settle. I just can't dance.
9. I love writing poetry but can
only manage to produce something I don't hate every few months or years.
Five years later: I am not confident that I've written ANY poetry since writing
this...
10. Out of all the characters I
learned in China, the only four I write almost every day are "I really
miss you".
Five years later: I have taken and passed the HSK 1 (97%) and HSK 2 (89%). My
Chinese is much better but I think even if I was fluent I'd still shy away from
speaking to native speakers. I have much more confidence when shouting orders
at babies or cats.
Always
the life of the party. (Note: right photo is just after I'd come home from
the hospital after birth.)
1. My most embarrassing moment is
from 5th grade, and it involves watermelon seeds.
Five years later: Since the birth of my daughter, I can honestly state that I
have had a new "most embarrassing moment." It turns out that
after you give birth, your body is a little empty but somehow still full
of air. When the nurse came to massage my belly to help my uterus shrink
back down... she didn't massage so much as manipulate me like a tube of
toothpaste... and squeezed out a long string of farts. I had, thus far,
only allowed my husband to hear a handful of those butt whispers in our 7 years
together but this nurse didn't seem to mind helping us reach a new level in our
marriage.
2. I developed earlier than most of
my friends, in that I got acne when I was 9.
Five years later: You know, the beauty of being pregnant is that you get to
experience the thrills of puberty all over again! Only, this time, you
aren't allowed to use any sort of medicines because those could hurt the baby.
My lovely Chinese coworkers were thoughtful enough to let me know any
time my face erupted- which was constantly.
3. I fell in love with Mozart- as in
the character from the movie Amadeus- and learned flute so I could be a child
prodigy... because no one explained how that was supposed to work.
Five years later: It has now been 17 years since I started learning flute!
And also officially it has been the longest I have gone without playing.
I don't believe I've touched my flute since I left for China in August of
2013! That is heartbreaking... I gotta break that sucker out and give her
a whirl.
4. My inability to master Mandarin
Chinese is something that frustrates me everyday, and occasionally in my dreams
as well.
Five years later: I've been living in China since August of 2013! My
Mandarin has expanded nicely, as well as my listening skills for bumbling
through life abroad. Still nowhere close to fluent, but
happy.
5. The fact that I never got to
mourn the death of our childhood dog, Buddy, (who was put to sleep when we were
studying abroad) will always haunt me.
Five years later: Gosh, and now my parents replacement dog for Buddy has died.
They rescued Shirley (an older dog) a mere two or three months after
Buddy passed, back in 2008, and had her put to sleep a few months ago.
One more family dog I never said fare well to.
6. I feel extremely accomplished
every time my cats come to their names- which is hardly ever, but still...
Five years later: I'm trying this out on my 6 month old... with slim results as of yet. She takes up all of my time these days.
7. One of the happiest moments of
middle school was the realization that I could now check out three books per
week, and I would, even though I could never finish all three before they were
due back.
Five years later: The last book I read was by Frederick Douglass- nearly 6
months ago. See answer number 6 for the reason I no longer read.
8. My first interaction with
"race" was when I was 6 and a black family moved in a few houses away
in my gated community- I was fascinated.
Five years later: I have become the very type of person I hate! I point
out all the foreigners to my husband- because there are so very few of us in
our neighborhood in Shenzhen.
9. The first time I saw David, I
knew he was going to be trouble. Despite agreeing to marry him, he
manages to cause a little trouble in my life at every given opportunity.
Five years later: Our daughter is also trouble.
10. I joined track to stalk a boy.
Stupidest. Mistake. Ever.
Five years later: Can't say I've done anything this stupid since then, except,
perhaps, having a baby in China.
The worst thing about being 26 wasn't the overpriced one bedroom apartment, the two part time jobs, the feeling that she'd wasted her college years or the fear that the online master's degree that she was getting would be useless: it was the sense of relief that washed over her with each paycheck. If there was one thing she'd gotten good at, it was being poor. That, more than anything else most days, disgusted her. To the best of her knowledge, she was working harder than her managers. If not harder, at least longer hours. By the time she would clock out that week, she would have logged 61 hours across her two jobs. 35 hours at one and 26 at the other. Neither enough at one job to get benefits. Some nights she only got 5 hours of sleep before getting to go back to work. And one manager had had the balls to call her a slow worker. The same manager that had hired her.
Except that instead of a dog, it's two cats. And instead of this ending as a teenager,
it's the song that never ends.
The hard thing about being 26 was trying to make new friends after moving to a new area. She looked much younger than 26 and yet couldn't relate to the recent high school grads. She was happily living with her fiance and couldn't understand her coworkers relationship problems. She bought her hair clip at Icing but was spending her hours daydreaming about her upcoming wedding.
This is how I feel when I try to dress up.
The okay thing about being 26 was that she'd finally amassed so much time on the planet that she was alright at accomplishing many daily and work-related tasks. She was adept at paying her bills on time (as her high credit score would show) but her apartment complex's four setting washer and dryers alluded her (as her many shrunken shirts would show).
Story of my life.
The good thing about being 26 was the confidence that allowed her to solve problems for customers at work easily and got her two comment cards within two months of being hired (a thing that never occurred in her previous two and a half years) The confidence in herself that helped her tune out the criticisms that she knew to be false.
The best part about being 26 was accepting that she'd accomplished a lot in her short time and that it was okay that she wasn't "where she thought she'd be". The best thing about being 26 was to finally fall asleep next to the love of her life every night. Granted, some nights he'd beat her to bed by three hours, but at least he'd warmed it up. The best thing about being 26 was looking to the future and knowing she wasn't facing it alone.
While sitting in on Bry's class today, I ended up writing a poem. We spent all of last week using Shel Silverstein poems to have our students look for the long 'E' sound, and I think you may find that my poem channels him just a little.
Blood, Sweat, & Beers
I exercise and exercise
And yet I never get thin
I swear to you, I exercise
This isn't just a whim
I do it in the morning
And at noon and every night
I wouldn't dare skip exercise
It's how you get thin, right?
I know you shouldn't skip it
So I squeeze in extra sessions
I'll do it nine, ten times a day
I never make concessions
I'll do it til I'm bloated
And there's no food in the house
I'll do it til I'm sad and broke
And can't do up my blouse
Oh, did I say exercise?
I meant to say "I eat!"
The fact that I'm not fat at all
Is really quite a feat
One of the best parts for me in each of my foreign language classes was getting to choose a new name. The act of deciding upon a new identity was a ritual that began every beginning foreign language course, and as a student I enjoyed taking on my foreign language persona for an hour or two during the school day. In Spanish class I chose the name "Rosana" which looked like a combination of my first and middle name: Bryana Rose. And in French I chose the name Aïcha because I thought the two dots over the "i" looked cute. On both occasions I chose my name from a list of names in my textbook and it was approved by my teacher.
Last semester, which was my first semester as an ESL teacher, I struggled to take role every day and never had a solid system in place for calling on students when I wanted class participation. "But, Bry-" you question, "why didn't you just call their names?" "Ah ha!" I say to you. I cannot read their names, whether written or typed, as Chinese characters. They must tell me, or write down, the pinyin (or Romanized) version of their name. For instance, 王飞飞 will be written out as Wáng Fēifēi. This name makes me giggle, and if you are anything like me then you think it also sounds like a name for a well-endowed Chinese poodle.
Don't have too much excitement there, Fei Fei.
This is the actual name of one of my students, as is 杨 义青 or Yáng YìQīng. Now this name seems boring and typical to me. It was the name of the first student in my morning class on Monday, so I used it as the example name for every other class when instructing the students to please write the pinyin of their names. As soon as the students saw or heard this name the whole room would erupt into laughter. I don't know if it is a silly name or if the students recognized this person by his name and thought it was funny that he was my example, but either way I knew there had to be a better way!
Enter: the naming ceremony. After a Power Point where I introduced myself, I had each student write out some sentences about themselves and then choose an English name. (For some background information on the Chinese and their English name habits, go HERE.)Then they would read their paper to the class and afterward I would wave my hands and shout out their new English name like a game show host. Fun for me. Embarrassing for them. (I'm getting my practice for being an awkward parent out of the way now.) Now, herein lies the problem. Some students chose names off my Top 100 Baby Names list, and some did their research and chose... uh... unique "names".
These are pulled from both of our classes, as we have 13 classes between us.
The following are people who chose Chinese sounding names. Basically new Chinese names:
*Lanbo
*Kai Wen
*Maike
*Misaya
The following are girls who chose boys names:
*Allen
*Steven *Clion (pronounced "Colin")
The following are boys who chose girls names:
*Jasmine
*Eren
*Aria
*Zoe (Chosen several times... pretty popular!)
*Mackenzie
*Lucy
*Ruby
*Amber *Rose *Sunny
The following are mostly boys but there are some girls mixed in, too. We've arranged these from what we consider most normal to WTF:
*Bryant (as in Kobe)
*Akon (yes, the singer) (except that he can't pronounce it correctly)
Much like Ted Mosby and the word "chameleon", many Chinese students only ever see words but never hear them pronounced.
*Eason *Carte *Jiessie
*Arno *Talon (we actually know someone by this name, but it's still fairly uncommon)
*Eden *Villa *Sweety
*Minis *Felix *Jovita (Pronounced "Zovita") *Brio
Brio, what are you doing in America? We have class tomorrow.
*Khunnie (Pronounced "Queenie") *Queena (Conveniently in the same class as "Queenie") *Apple *Summer (One boy and at least two girls) *Honey
*Star *Blue (At least one boy and girl) *Green
*Rex *Angel (That she insists is spelled Angle)
*Culle (Apparently pronounced "cool") *Tony Williams (First person to choose a first and last name.) *Sunshine *Leaves *Bamboo
*Night
*Monkey *Wolf *Pitbull *Raiden
I wasn't sure how to pronounce this until I verified that this is in fact who he named himself after.
*Tony Stark
*Superman *Little Eight *Jelly
*OK
*Faker *Fuck
This doesn't even take into account all of the multiples we have. In one class alone I had two Amy's and an Aimee. Luckily, two of them later opted to change their names (to Summer and Honey...). Like Western food, China just doesn't get Western names. But that's fine. Who doesn't love getting to try to call on "OK?" to answer a question. Or "Fuck?" for that matter. No, the real problem is that they choose names that are just too similar sounding for them to distinguish. In one class I have an April and an Avril. No matter how much I try to over-pronounce their names so that it's easier for them to hear, they never get it right. I also have an Ada and an Anna in that class and they can't tell their names apart. In another class I have the same problem with an Emma and an Anna. Sometimes, it's a bit of a nightmare. You'd think we could get away with skipping this whole "English name" formality, but the truth is that we can't pronounce their real names. It goes a little like this:
Our school makes some odd choices. A month ago we gave and graded our finals. We input our grades and were done with it. Today, in the middle of Bry giving a class, our assistant rushed over to tell us we had to go fix something. I went with him. Turns out that something we should have/easily could have done a month ago we were never told to do. Then they waited a whole month to tell us. Then they decided it was really important to do by tomorrow... Part of it involved writing down our students' Chinese names... Yeah... that was never going to happen. But it prompted me to write a poem in my head as XAPI fueled my hate-fire (Can you name that movie?).
My patience is waning.
Ode to XAPI
This school is so frustrating
I could pull out my hair
Apparently there's rules
But I'm still unaware
They make them up randomly
Or so it would seem
Just to frustrate a foreigner
Trying to live out a dream
Pretty good, right? Now, how about some more frustrations. Yesterday, I had my first class of the semester. At the end, a student came up and started talking to me. His English was pretty good so when he followed Bry and I to lunch we weren't too annoyed. He proceeded to insist he buy us lunch. I didn't turn him down. I told him what I wanted and told him that Bry and I would share. Then he bought Bry her own food. Now, Bry and I have been sharing food on campus after we learned that there are no optional serving sizes and that somehow the Chinese can eat FAR more than we can in one sitting. When he sat that food down in front of me, I knew I would never be able to finish it. Sure enough, when I was done about half the food on the plate left.
Being in China can feel like this...
When I got up to go throw it away he said, "You are full?" I said, "Yes." He then proceeded to point to a poster on the wall and asked me if I knew what it said. I said no even though I am aware of what it stands for. He began to LECTURE me on how hard the peasants work to make the food we eat and that it shouldn't be wasted. I reminded him that I said Bry and I share and that HE had ordered twice as much as we normally eat. He said he understood and we dropped it but... What the hell??? Students and teachers either have a much different relationship here than in America OR nobody gives Bry and me any respect here. Bry and I used to go out with one of our professors for beer and I would never have thought of calling him out on any behavior (not that I found anything he did odd in the first place). Where's the respect?
Bry and I recently got our new schedules for class this semester and... well, I already miss our old ones. Now we're getting up for class at 8:10am four days a week. When are we supposed to shower???
Now I miss my cats.
Now, I know what you're going to say. Just wake up earlier and shower. Well, little do YOU know that between about 11pm and 6:00am our water shuts off every day. We're still not sure why. We have to plan our lives around this finicky water source we have (which is still better than when we ran out of propane for two days while Steven was visiting) which can mean that if we stay up too late we lose our chance to brush our teeth or flush. If we forget to fill our electric tea kettle, we end up spending the next day sans coffee.
I don't want to complain, but...
At least our next semester has finally begun. We get to begin counting down the days until we get to come home! About 20 week left. Once we've bought plane tickets we'll begin an official countdown.
After three months, I'm willing to admit it. China smells different.
No, not in a bad way.
Bry and I didn't realize it at first but... the only thing you smell when you're outside is food. The people here don't use beauty products overflowing with powerful smells. We didn't really realize that we were becoming used to the lack of smells until David's box finally arrived.
When did the mail start taking forever to get between China and America?
Bry failed to open the box on her own so I helped her out with our huge kitchen knife. We happily dumped out all our loot.
So many tampons!!!!!!!!!!!!
After the shock of seeing 108 tampons wore off, what was left behind was a smell so strong that I started to get a headache. There were three different smelly things in the box. The first two are in this picture. Cosmos don't seem particularly smelly in America (or maybe they do to you), but no one over here wears perfume. I hadn't smelled women's perfume in weeks.
The other smelly item was a t-shirt from David. We had promised one another that we would sleep in each others t-shirts- it seemed romantic at the time. When I arrived in China, however, I was dismayed to discover that I had forgotten the t-shirt David was letting me borrow. Two months into our captivity- I mean... our teaching contract- David finally sent a box from America to us.
A full MONTH later, the box was hand delivered to my doorstep. When we opened it- whoooooooooosh! David had been worried that I might forget the way he smells, so he sprayed his Batman cologne onto the t-shirt and put it into a zip-lock bag.
Yes, this exists.
When I questioned the intense smell coming from the bag, he admitted that he had probably drenched the t-shirt in about 50 or 60 individual sprays all over it. I really appreciate the effort. My whole bedroom smells like man, now. My man. Batman.
The point, though, is that people here don't seem to wear perfume or cologne. The only smells one is assaulted with in a regular manner are mainly pleasant. The man that baked sweet potatoes in the street makes a killing on a daily basis because the delicious aroma wafts all the way down the road. The smell of barbecued meat does the very same, and so the only smells you encounter outside your own house seem to be tangible things available to purchase for only a few yuan. Amazing.
No teenagers doused in Axe.
No men sporting Old Spice.
No old women and their mysterious (sexy) musk.
Now, if you're wondering what we want for Christmas, it's this!
Bry and I recently finished our very first grad school class!!! It was hard work but we pulled it off! Here are Bry's grades. We had different "mentors" for our classes. Her mentor couldn't be satisfied by anything.
The first activity was a discussion post. We were supposed to write about ourselves and why we had made the decision to join grad school. We had to mention our previous schooling and background, and mention where we were in our life now. The thing was, we were supposed to do it in 150-200 words- which is a real challenge to someone as long-winded as I am. Here is what I wrote:
"I studied at Humboldt State, and Xi'an International Studies University in Xi'an, China. I majored in International Studies concentrating in Chinese Studies. I'm currently teaching English at Xi'an Aeronautical Polytechnic Institute in China. In five years time I hope to be fully employed at a school or private company, though I do not care if it is int the United States or a foreign country. Northcentral fits perfectly into my life plan! Eight months ago I was torn between coming to China to teach English or to attend a two year Master program in Beijing. My husband said being long-distance for two years was too long, so I searched around for an online program. Now, I am teaching and working on my degree at the same time! I believe I need to peruse the site to feel more comfortable with it. I am also concerned with acquiring textbooks internationally. I read an article today in China Daily about National Teacher's Day expressing the concern that some teachers are overcompensated for their time, this conflicts with my readings in Culture Shock: China which states that teachers are highly respected."
It is 194 words. I also had to write a response to another student's post, which I found problematic as I could not see anyone else's posting, so I had trouble basing what I should write off of the zero examples I had to work with. The teacher created a fake post just so I could get credit for the response. I was graded on both my original post and the response I wrote. I had 75-100 words to formulate a response, and this is what I came up with.
"Ni hao, Stu Dent! That is how we say hello in China. I have often considered environment to play a large role in learning outcomes. My students are currently in a classroom that is overcrowded and cumbersome for me to navigate around, so I have been considering trying to conduct one lesson outside to see how that would work for them. Unfortunately I rely on my blackboard to convey concepts by drawings and examples, I fear I may never get to try this out with these ESL learners. I would be interested in hearing more about any findings you may have."
Technically, that was 101 words. Bottom line is, I was assured that the post should be about ourselves, and was to help acquaint us with the online format before we would get into the more difficult projects and papers. The 87% felt like a slap in the face! Like, here is what I think about your shitty life story. I noticed that other students after me were writing lengthier responses, and I can't help but wonder if sticking to the word count cost me points on the overall grade.
We'll never know.
This DID prompt me to work very hard on each assignment, and it paid off. My scores started ootching up the scale. And then the directions for the assignments became increasingly vague, and my interpretations were apparently not what the intended results were supposed to look like. Also, as a first time APA writer... the format is NOT intuitive. And, online resources give conflicting examples on what something should look like for the final product. My final counted for 20% of my overall grade. The teacher reminded us to take it very seriously.
I prayed that I would get a divine intervention- which is a pretty big deal for a pagan like me... there are a lot of gods and goddess to ask!
We do not actually acknowledge the deity Grilled Cheesus.
But we support your right to believe.
Suddenly, *POOF* deus ex machina! I received an e-mail from my teacher saying that she was going on vacation and thus the duty of grading my final assignment would go to a substitute! Sweet mother of monkey milk, this was my chance. I put even more effort into this, and spent two whole days creating this blog (which was only half of the assignment, but the other half is too dull to post here):
It is best if you read the blog with the music playing.
When my grade came in it was clear that my first teacher must have been grading me far too harshly. I received an overall 97% on the last assignment! As it was worth 20% of my grade in the class, I was bumped from an 88% to a 90%! Fantastico!
Bry's grades
I feel that I should mention, during the fourth week of the program we began our second class (and are still in the process of taking this class) and I have received a 100% on all but one of these assignments. It is clear from my grades in the second class, and Rachel's grades in both classes, that this professor who was grading all my work for the first 7 assignments in the first class was judging every aspect of the work with far too much scrutiny.
Though I was initially worried, it was clear from the beginning that my "mentor" was less of a harsh grader. Bry and I did our homework together, at the same time, often reading each other what we were writing. The amount of effort we put into our work was always the same. In fact, I frequently felt like her writing sounded more like graduate work than mine did. Nonetheless, though, our grades were vastly different. Here is my first assignment for the same class.
Hello, my name is Rachel Fix. My undergraduate work focused on International Studies and Chinese Studies. My area of specialty would have to be Chinese history. Currently, I am working in China at the Xi'an Aeronautical Polytechnic University teaching English to various majors. Five years from now I hope to see myself happily married and settled into a teaching job somewhere in the Bay Area. I am hoping that my time with Northcentral will help me round out my knowledge in the areas I've already begun filling with information about teaching English in my free time as well as prepare me for actually working in the American education system. So far, I feel very comfortable logging in to the learning portal. Beyond that everything still feels far too new. In my undergraduate studies I only took one online class and it was in my last semester. I never felt comfortable with the online setting. The two books most relevant to my goals that I have read recently would be "English the American Way" and "Culture Shock: China".
Take a look at the picture below for my grade on that assignment and the rest.
Rachel's grades
That's right! I got a 97% in my very first grad school class! Right now I'm sitting at a 4.0. I haven't had one of those since fall 2006.
Hey Bry, I know you are feeling down and frankly quite lost, so I made this blog post just for you!
This is one of your favorite songs by one of your favorite bands.
Hit play and scroll on down if you want to feel better.
As The Killers say, remember you are only Human.
You have made some big changes this year. Let's review what has happened in only these past twelve months.
*Your boss, who had been a close friend for six years, moved away.
*His replacement relied on you heavily for help, which made you feel needed and better about the changes right up until they denied you the raise you worked hard for and were promised by your previous boss.
*You accepted a teaching position at Xi'an International Polytechnic Institute because, silly you, you thought the school would be in Xi'an- the city in China where you did your study abroad and therefore everyone you knew in China ALL lived in.
*Your husband found out that he was not being rehired for the next school year. They told him too late in the year for him to apply for the local Masters in Math Education program.
*You took on a second part-time job, as a waitress, to save money for your move to China. Thus began a solid five weeks of working 50+ hours per week, 7 days straight with no break.
*You decided to begin an online graduate school program to work on while living in China so you can learn to teach English as a Second Language while actually teaching English as a second language.
*You had to say goodbye to all your coworkers at The Depot when the school year ended, and began working full-time as a waitress at Alice's Steak and Sushi in order to make up for the loss of the first job.
*You got your husband an accounting job at the Casino you worked for when his school year ended. He hated the job, but loved working alongside you.
*Your little sister moved out and moved back in with your parents. Your twin sister's boyfriend replaced your little sister as a roommate.
*You saved up money for not only your plane tickets to China, but also for the surprise 30th birthday bash for your husband. The party went off without a hitch. It was the biggest and best birthday of his life- except you forgot the money at home and had to put everything on your credit card.
*You kissed your husband goodbye, and sent him to work, knowing that you would not see him again for several months- and left for China later that day.
*You arrived in China, and found out that the school was actually over an hour away from the city where all your Chinese friends lived. Excellent.
*The spotty internet connection is now all that connects you to your entire family, which means that when your husband called three weeks ago to tell you that his father had committed suicide you could not even stay on the phone to console him.
Hey now, I know you. These are just things that happened TO YOU in the past year. If you think about it, your whole life has been a tragically bumpy ride, with wave after wave of misfortunes afflicting you and your loved ones, but we can't let that get you down. Look at this happy photo now, and listen to the rest of the song.
The first time you heard that song, you were sitting in an Internet Bar in Xi'an, China, wishing you could be back in America. Ha! Same song, another year.
These kids are why you are going through all this trouble.
Did you finish the song? Did the photo help calm you down and ground you? OK, good. Now, let's remember, together, every big accomplishment you have done so far so that getting this degree will not seem so far-fetched of an idea.
But first, let's put on another good song.
Remember to dance along with the music!
*On September 16th, 1988, you were born! Good job! So was your twin sister, but whatever.
This goes back a little far, so let's move ahead a few years.
*In June of 1994 you graduated from Kindergarten despite having a case of Chicken Pox! See, you can overcome anything!
*When your family moved between Kindergarten and First Grade, you used this as an opportunity to make new friends! Nothing can get you down, girl!
*You joined band in Fifth Grade so you could be a child prodigy like your crush, Mozart, because no one told you that that is not how being a child prodigy worked. The fact that you were only average at the flute never stopped your enthusiasm for music and this would propel you into deciding to be a Music Major in college.
*You had the starring role in The Wizard of Oz! You were probably the only Dorothy to portray the role with that much childhood acne, but you remembered every line and had zero stage fright!
*You were one of the shortest girls at your Sixth Grade graduation, other than your twin Rachel, but you looked adorable in your new dress from Grandma even if you had to shave your armpits for the first time just to be able to wear it. Puberty hit you like a truck right after that day- just in time for Middle School!
*In Seventh Grade, your skills in math (which had been declining since the year before) completely tanked. Nothing your Dad could do seemed to help you understand pre-Algebra. Your failings at math only made your success in English and music seem more outstanding.
*You missed a glorious month of school because of pneumonia, in Eighth Grade, and went on to develop asthma. This caused the school, and your doctors, to force you to decide between sports and music. How was this even a question? Music became a serious passion of yours after this.
*You were one of the tallest girls (and boys) at the Eighth Grade graduation, and the fact that you graduated at all makes you better than Grandpa Heinrich who never finished past this grade.
*In Ninth Grade, your new band teacher saw so much potential in you that he purchased you a piccolo so you could learn and study outside of school hours. You would play this instrument to death. It literally no longer works.
*In Tenth Grade, you and your sister and best friend would compete in the National History Day competition for the third time, but this time your play "Irish Immigrants in America" won a blue first place ribbon at the County level and you got to go to Sacramento to compete at State! The competition kicked your butt, but the tangible feeling of representing your nationality and school was a serious accomplishment.
*In Eleventh Grade your family was evicted and you moved schools. The new students new nothing about you other than the fact that you were tall, blonde, and an identical twin. This intimidated many, and forced you to come out of your shell to make friends.
*Due to the differences between your former and new school districts, you were forced to enroll in nine classes for the Eleventh Grade. You still kept an A average.
*In Eleventh Grade, you began taking Spanish I, as one of the only upper class-men in the course, and received over 100% in the class. This charged your desire to become a language teacher and to begin taking French the next year.
*At High School Graduation, you received the "Bank of America Foreign Language" award for taking and acing two foreign languages at the same time, and graduated with a 3.75 GPA. You had never felt so proud!
There are a few people who helped you get to this point, namely all your relatives, but these are the most important ones.
Picture left to right: Mom, Rachel, Dad, Alia, and me!
These accomplishments feel small, but they are the building blocks that serve as motivation to the more recent accomplishments in your life.
Did you finish the last song? Remember when Mom made you watch the movie the first time? She pointed out how the movie was about a strong girl from Pennsylvania who would do anything to survive. You know now that this was an allegory for her own life growing up in Pennsylvania and how she worked very hard for many years before coming to California, but back then you thought it was gross that she described the main character as sensual. Actually, you still hate that word. Thanks, Mom.
Here is another song you love to keep you happy!
Dancing Queen was one of your favorite songs in middle school,
Abba songs only make you miss your friends more!
Your adult accomplishments are as follows:
*Once you set your mind on attending Humboldt State University in 2006, you moved nearly all of your belongings (even the ones you probably could have left behind) up to Arcata, California to be a Music Major.
*You saw the display during tabling and joined a "FIG" (freshmen interest group) for people interested in Spanish. It was then that you decided to change your major to International Studies, but you did not manage to officially change that for at least three years.
*You joined the school marching band, the Humboldt State University Marching Lumberjacks, and put that piccolo to use- never missing a single rehearsal or gig (both required and optional) that first semester which even won you a small "Rookie All-Star" award at the end of the year Banquet.
*You received a 3.71 GPA for your first semester, which impressed everyone! You would never manage to recreate this success, but at least you did not drop out like most of the students in your dorm.
*You began studying Chinese in 2007, and both hated and loved that you finally encountered a foreign language that presented a challenge. This class fueled your desire to study abroad as it made you wonder if you really did excel in languages more than the average person or if other people just did not care to apply themselves to the subject, and if the later was the case... perhaps you could develop a better method for teaching.
*You participated in your first musical during your second year, not as an actor, but you were briefly on stage as a crew member. Mom was still proud, so you bought the DVD of the production.
*To pay for your plane ticket to China, you and Rachel got your first full-time jobs. Working in Arcata meant that we needed to live in Arcata, so we rented out very first apartment! We shared a room, and had no furniture. We slept in sleeping bags on the floor and brought paper bag lunches to work with us, but we were self-sufficient for the first time (even though Grandma and Grandpa Fix paid that first month of rent)!
*After months of preparation, you and Rachel packed your bags and flew to China on August 29th of 2008. You actually lived in China for three amazing months and sixteen days. You visited ancient relics, made foreign friends, and lived a great adventure in a small amount of time. With your passion for International Studies rekindled, you returned to the USA ready to buckle down and graduate.
*You met an interesting boy, David Wellman, less than two months after returning to the United States, and less than two months after that you were officially dating.
*You joined a choir for the first time, and after making music for nearly eleven years with your flute you finally gave it a try with your mouth. Yes, that sounds as awful as it did in your head.
*You fell in love.
*You adopted a kitten, named Figaro, at only 5 weeks old!
This was only moments after he asked you to be his girlfriend. <3
*You finally changed your major! The change brought about new changes in your life, like joining the Chinese Club on campus, but did not stop you from performing with musical groups on campus.
*David moved in with you and your sister.
*You and Rachel and David were asked to be in a commercial for Blue Lake Casino and Hotel. They bleached your hair and plucked your eyebrows, and paid you more than the other actors because of this. Unlike those poor bastards who made less than you, your portion of the commercial never aired. They essentially paid you to bleach your long beautiful hair and make you pretty for one day. Someday you'll get those 15 minutes of fame.
The director took this photo! I know we always hated the one-shoulder look,
but the curly hair really balances the look.
You had no idea then that he wanted to marry you!
*You adopted a second cat together so that the first one wouldn't be lonely, but if we're being honest... you really wanted another kitten. These two cats are your life!
*David proposed!
You are still wearing that ring!
So matchy-matchy it makes you cringe, but he loves it!
*You had a hundred of these ordered so they could be your Save The Date cards for your "Christmas in July" themed wedding. You have a large stack at home still because you only sent out a few. Who cares, it is still one of the best dang photos of you two that exists. And, though it took a dozen tries, it was free because you used the timer on the camera.
Th other shoppers thought you were nuts,
but it was worth it for this photo.
*The big plans you had had for two weddings fell through, and David made you choose. One nice wedding, or one nice honeymoon? Honeymoon! Of course! So you had the best wedding of anyone ever.
You got married as the finale of the Marching Lumberjacks Spring Concert.
It was free, and totally worth it.
*David graduated, which made you so proud, but also fueled your hate fire. You should have graduated by now. So, it made you buckle down and work very hard for the next year so you could graduate!
"Congrats on beating me to graduation, babe."
*David began the teaching credential program in 2011, and you started working for the Depot as a cashier. You had tried to be a cashier before at another job, but failed so much that they made you a lifeguard instead. This time, you became the best cashier the joint had! Well, one of, you really loved all those girls you got to work with.
You were an excellent cashier, fantastic beer wench, and a mediocre barista.
Can't win them all.
Your hard work paid off! You worked for a whole year, and finished off your degree in International Studies with a concentration in Chinese studies. Congratulations! It took six years, but you did it! In those six years you changed your major, your grandmothers both died, you did a study abroad, your dog died during said study abroad, your friend commit suicide also during the same study abroad,and when your long-term relationship ended while you were also on said study abroad (Longest three months of your life!) and you thought life could not possibly get harder for you- you returned to your family to heal. It was then that you finally let love in. Real love!
Rachel, Brooke, and you! Friends for life! For the herd!
College life to the right, everyone else please exit to the real world on the left.
I know you need some direction now, so listen up!
Remember that you are strong.
You have had a hard life, so you, more than most, can understand when things go wrong that it isn't the universe out to get you. Life is unfair to everyone.
But you made this choice! You know the life you want to have. The husband, the two cats, the two children (soon enough), and the wonderful job you want are all back in the United States waiting for you!
You will grin and bear your time here in China. The work is frustrating, and not what you expected- which in the end should be exactly what you expected since life has always thrown curve balls our way.
Maybe you do not believe me that you will succeed in this endeavor, but you know there are people who DO believe in you! This is only the next year of your life, and you have already accomplished so much and come so far from the wee thing who went to a bilingual Kindergarten to teaching English in China! Let's end this motivational speech with a bang, and measure your next year in love!
Remember, you are only in China for one year.
Your husband and best friends want you to finish your degree!
You cannot start the MLJ Graduate Degree Club
with Wesley if you don't get that degree!
Suzie is living in New Zealand with Maighdlyn,
she understand the pain of not being in America.
Remember when you were the only one to dress in drag at Alejandro's birthday?
Everyone still accepted you for the weirdo you are.
Wesley and LC want you to get your degree so you can
start that summer camp together!
Sarah wants you to finish your degree so you can come
back to American and have fun together!
David knows that if you can throw HIM a surprise 30th birthday party,
that graduate school is going to be a piece of well deserved cake,
Danny, your brother-in-law, just wants you to come back to America
so you can throw more awesome parties like David's birthday.
Brooke wants you to finish school and come back to America
so you can play more Dungeon and Dragons!
Caitlin wants you to come back with a degree so she is not the only
person you know with a Master degree. And then you can
go to Disneyland together!
Alia, your little sister, wants you to get this degree so you
can shut up about it already!
Your whole family wants you to get this degree so you can have a better life!
Matt is getting his graduate degree, too, send him
a message if you get overwhelmed!
You need to make the women in your life proud!
Never forget he loves you, and supports you.
These girls will always look up to you!
And your family will always have your back!
Because they are just as excited for this as you are!
So enjoy this year, and remember what is waiting for you at home!
Both of your families want you to finish this degree!
You'll be doing this again before you know it.
He's always there to hold your hand through the hard times.
So relax, have fun in China, and finish up that degree!
